A show of her OWN

Sometimes inspiration can come from the strangest places...another Turning Point story.

About seven ago months I answered one of those Tell the Truth questionnaires on Facebook. One of the questions asked “How do you feel about your life right now? I replied “bland ~ ready for the next level ~ some new stuff”.

Well, on May 13 I saw an advertisement on the Oprah Show for an opportunity for the chance of a lifetime. She was going to announce something on the show the next day. Instantly something struck me and I knew I had to wake up early enough the next morning to watch her show for the announcement. Currently, I’m not working so I have the luxury of sleeping in. Of course, she waited until the last five minutes of the show to make this announcement I was anxious to hear.

Then, Oprah spoke about the opportunity to host your own TV show, which I later learned was the opportunity to own your own show. When she began talking I sat up in my bed and knew instantly that this was something I could do!! However, there were a couple problems; I didn’t know what type of show I wanted to host; this was well outside of my comfort zone; and there was an element of apprehension, fear, doubt, and nervousness.

The doubt and nervousness was somewhat expected in my mind due to the newness of this venture. I’ve never aspired to be a talk show host. This was not a hobby, nor was hosting identified as a skill I should pursue based on personality traits.

Despite my feelings of anxiety, I pursued what I felt was for me… I started by telling my family the same day I saw the advertisement on Oprah. They took the news fairly well. Their first question was “What kind of show do you want?” Of course I said, “I have no idea.” I told them I would need to explore ideas for my audition tape. I think they wanted to gage how serious I was before committing 100 percent. I went home and prayed.

I knew this idea was given to me, but I needed confirmation and guidance. A few days later I dreamt about being a broadcast news anchor for my own show. In my dream I saw the production crew, staff, the set, etc. So, I created an audition tape based on being a news anchor, uploaded my video, and began my marketing campaign to acquire votes. I shared with friends and other family members that I was auditioning for the contest. I realized slowly that maybe this idea wasn’t as far fetched as I originally thought. Each person I told was very supportive and surprisingly told me that they easily saw me working in this role…Go Figure!! On a daily basis I began to think about potential production company names and show production concepts. I really saw myself moving to Los Angeles.

I thought the feelings of doubt and anxiety was normal because this venture was new. What I realized is that these feelings were not normal. I had lost a measure of confidence. This competition was a catalyst that re-emerged the confident, well-versed, adventurous, capable person! It helped me to remember that it was not normal to have negative thoughts about my capabilities when I have the necessary skills and aptitude.

At the end of my audition tape I thanked Oprah for the opportunity and indicated that now I’m beginning to dream bigger dreams.

I am thankful that Oprah was used as a vessel, but I am most thankful that I was open for the lesson of a lifetime. I do not know what my future holds, but most importantly, I will not allow external circumstances or other people to determine my self-worth. I believe with every fiber of my being and embrace the belief that I have been fearfully and wonderfully made and I can do ALL things…!! I am ready for my next adventure, whether in human resources, some form of media broadcast, or public relations… who knows!!! The great thing is…there are no limitations on my life!!!

The new AIDS gel

It was announced yesterday that a new vaginal gel was proven statistically to reduce the spread of AIDS. This study involved 889 women in South Africa, one-half of the women were given a placebo gel to take before and after intercourse. The other half received a vaginal gel that included the AIDS drug tenovofir. It is the addition of the drug that seems to have made the difference in reducing HIV infection. It was also found that continued use of the gel seemed to strengthen its ability to create a beneficial barrior to the virus.

The vaginal gel is hailed as being particularly useful in Africa because the transmittal of HIV is usually through heterosexual contact and usually through the woman's husband. The gel also cut the transmittal of genital herpes by 51 percent. That was a surprise to researchers.

As happy as I am that there seems to be a rainbow in the doom and gloom of HIV/AIDS, it still concerns me that 39 percent of the women became infected with HIV. If the women are becoming infected by their husbands, what are their husbands doing? Again, I am happy that this drug cuts the transmission of genital herpes, but what is the cause of that?

With the positive outcome of this study and continued research to insure the safety and effectiveness of this product, the vaginal gel can be another useful weapon to fight HIV/AIDS.   But, what brought us here in the first place? What must we do to insure a healthy and prosperous future for our children. I am not advocating, in any way, shape, or form that we not use drugs available to prevent or extend the life of those with HIV/AIDS. I don't even want to play the blame game; and blame those with HIV for the virus that invaded their bodies. I just wonder how we got here in the first place and if this gel will allow women to live promising lives.

Who determines womanhood?

Last week it was announced TO THE WORLD that Caster Semenya is in fact a woman and is able to compete in athletic events as a woman. Why the global effort to determine the gender of one person on this planet? Caster is a runner from South Africa who was beginning to compete on an international scale and as she blew away the rest of the pack the other competitors and coaches began questioning her gender.

It has been almost a year since she was force to undergo testing to determine if she was in fact a woman and able to compete at the highest level she could as an athlete. This testing included specialists in the areas of gynecology, endocrinology, psychology and gender testing. (What if we all had to go through such invasive tests to determine our female hood?)

It was suspected that she was intersex or what was once called hermaphroditism. She could have ambiguous genitalia - testes that may be inside of the body rather than outside or an extra y chromosome instead of the double x that we’ve been told makes us female.

Last year, when this story first broke, the media was agog with Caster; pictures showed her as very muscular with little perhaps non-existent breasts. Even though she was taunted as a child, South Africans seemingly rallied around her when other parts of the world also taunted, criticized and defamed her.

How do we handle it when people are so seemingly different from us?

Are we truly as kind as we should be? Can we go beyond tolerate?

In my book tolerate means I won’t say anything until something sets me off and then I can rant (with those who feel the same way as I do). Again, I tolerate pap smears.

I simply hate the thought of someone being an outcast because of circumstance of birth. Why? Because it sets all of us up to be an outcast. Who determines female hood? Is it simply chromosomes or does it go further into physical attributes; the size of breasts, the width of hips, or the use of our uterus in giving birth to children. It is estimated that approximately one percent of live births in the U.S. are either intersexed or are sexually ambiguous. That includes those people whose genitalia are either not readily apparent or whose chromosomal makeup does not coincide with their physical appearance. Sometimes, we can see the difference, but other times it is left to science to determine.

Being intersexed seems to be purely a physical thing and not something that makes someone a serial killer, rapist, or pedophile. It’s just physical. And while we base many things on someone’s outward appearance shouldn’t we all just be a little bit kinder? In fact, one of the reasons why gender testing on female Olympic athletes was dropped in 1999 was that that they found more than one athlete to have chromosomal differences. (This certainly flies in the face of the high school biology I was taught.) Those women were allowed to compete and so should Caster.

As I listened to some radio disc jockey's make fun of her and read how the other runners viewed her, I was disappointed. It’s so easy to make fun of someone who’s seemingly different from us and challenges our own beliefs of what should be true. But, in this instance, unless we all drop our pants and submit to a chromosome analysis, we will never know for sure if that claim of her being different from us is actually accurate.

Running the Distance

A turning point in the life of a woman who found her passion for running and raising money for children in need.

One step was all it took.

One of the most significant turning points in my life occurred the spring of 2007 when I was challenged to run the Chicago marathon. Several of my friends were doing it, so I quickly succumbed to the peer pressure. So what if the longest distance I had ever run prior to that moment was just over a mile or, a few miles, if you count the treadmill. So what if I had to give up most of my Saturday mornings during training season and proceed to bed at a reasonable hour on Friday nights. At the time, I thought perhaps physically I could be trained to tackle such a challenge, but would my mind see differently? After all, my sister, who’s a seasoned marathon runner, has always shared that running a marathon is only 30 percent physical and 70 percent mental.

When I began this journey, I was also in the process of a job change. Amid four- and five-mile runs during the weekday and several more over the weekend, I was also polishing up my resume and going on interviews. My body, unfamiliar with the grueling rhythm of pain, also had a mind of its own. I distinctly remember arriving for a second interview for the job I’m currently employed with a strained back. It was all I could to avoid grimacing throughout that half-day interview. With each step I took, my body scolded me for the punishment I was putting it through. But as they say, no pain, no gain.

Now gainfully employed, I continued training with Team World Vision, a humanitarian organization dedicated to working with children, families and their communities worldwide to reach their full potential by tackling the causes of poverty and injustice. My goal that first year was to raise $1,000 for the organization.

As the weeks and months crept by, I became more amazed by the mileage my then 32-year-old body had conquered and the fact that my mind hadn’t completed abandoned me. Could this girl who grew up in small town Indiana really manage to cross the finish line of a marathon?

It’s now a week before my first marathon. By that time, I had run 20 miles, the recommended mileage for successfully completing a marathon. My body was feeling good, but internally I was a wreck. I was having nightmares that I would collapse at the finish line. I remember breaking into cold sweats, and the night before I was nauseated and delusional. To top things off, the local weatherman predicted 90-degree temperatures for the day of the marathon. And no, that is not a typo. Chicago in October typically does not reach such high numbers, but of course, the day thousands of people had trained for was expected to be one of the hottest marathons on record. What was I to do?

I awoke promptly at 4:45 the morning of the marathon. After throwing on my World Vision running shirt and my running pants, I grabbed all my other materials and proceeded to the train. It was no surprise that many others were also headed to the train at that hour. Too nervous to eat, I stared out the window and tried to mentally prepare myself for what was about to happen. “You can do this…you can do this,” I repeated to myself several times. I finally arrived downtown to be met by my running partners. Already at start time, the heat was on. To make a long-story short, I remember thinking at mile 3 that this would possibly be one of the worst experiences of my life. Sweating profusely, I asked myself how could I possibly complete 23 more miles in this heat? Needless to say, at mile 16 a police officer stopped me to say the race was canceled. At the time, I thought he was playing a cruel joke on an exhausted, defenseless runner. Was it true? Was the race really canceled? After all the months of training, sweat, and tears? It was indeed, and I was THRILLED to say the least! Unfortunately, shortly before the race concluded, one person had collapsed and died of a heat stroke.

A month later, I realized that it would be senseless to let all my hard work fall to the waste side. I discovered that the Indianapolis marathon would take place in November and I quickly signed up. Although the crowds were not nearly as energetic and visible as they are in the great city of Chicago, I managed to complete my first marathon with my parents and younger brother waiting at the finish line. Although excruciating and tortuous, there are few moments in life that compare to crossing a finish line after running 26.2 miles. In the midst of the pain, there's such pride in accomplishing a goal that seemed so unrealistic at the start. But I was convinced that day that my feet would never cross such a finish line again.

Three years later, I've now completed five marathons—Indianapolis, Chicago twice, Berlin, Germany, and the Marine Corp in Washington, D.C. This year, I recently completed the Cincinnati Merci-Heart 15K with my best time of 1 hr. 31 min., and I'm set to run the Chicago half marathon, full marathon and the Marine Corp again this October. All total, I've completed more than a dozen races. Sufficed to say, I'm hooked!

What has also become a passion is my desire to raise funds for children here and around the globe. Although my fundraising has lapsed briefly, I'm happy to say that I've raised nearly $2,500 for World Vision and plan to continue raising money this year.

Running has developed into a joy that in my wildest dreams I could never have imaged. It provides me energy when I'm feeling lethargic, it helps me stay in one pant size, and it's allowed me to meet so many incredible people from all walks of life. I've never felt better! If I continue to remain strong and healthy, I plan to run at least one marathon a year until I'm 65. Who knew that a challenge by friends could be so life-changing and awe-inspiring.